**SNOWMAN SHOCKER: FROSTY DROPS HISTORIC "ICICLE LOG" IN PUBLIC TOILET, SPARKS GLOBAL MELTDOWN!** *By Chuckles McFreeze, Arctic Gazette Correspondent* In a chilling turn of events, beloved snowman Frosty has revolutionized bathroom etiquette by squeezing out a massive, carrot-colored poop right into a playground porta-potty! Witnesses say the jolly figure waddled in, pipe in mouth, and unleashed a blizzard of frozen turds that clogged the pipes for miles. "I thought snowmen just melted—turns out they multitask!" gasped eyewitness Sally Shiverpants. Experts warn this "Snow Dump" could lead to avalanches of copycat meltdowns worldwide. Frosty fled, yelling, "No more coal for me!" City officials are now handing out shovels. Stay tuned—or stay seated!